FearofCommitment.com

(sigh) My heart is beating faster for someone other that it should right now. What does this mean? I always thought life would just play out according to some grand plan, where we would make our future, but the choices would be at least somewhat clear to us as far as what would be the best for us. What might be the best isn't exactly the same as what feels the greatest, damn it.
I married my best friend, and I love him dearly, yet I am unsatisfied. I wonder if it is just because I have always been flighty and left whoever I was dating for something "more" in my past, or if it is truly an innate thing that is wrong with my marriage.... maybe it is just me...as a truly independent spirit, I am a poor team player and partner. It sucks to think I am that bad for someone else.
I am tired and will turn in now, but damn it, I am even more tired of being the one to say "I want something more" while it hurts somebody I care about...Aaaarghhhh...