clandestine dreams

Wow. Another night of chaotic dreams and trying to stay on the edge of my bed. Booooo that, it is like trying to stay awake while you're sleeping when you can't sleep very well.
I had the tornado dream again. I always have this dream when things in my life feel somewhat chaotic, or I am at a major impasse or time of difficult decision.
I was driving down some busy, traffic-infested road in Raleigh or someplace. Rob was driving and talking a mile a minute and I was sitting there, getting perturbed and frustrated, because I just wanted him to shut up and listen to me for once. I noticed that there were three vague-shaped funnel clouds in the sky, slowly twisting and beginning to churn into a more volitile storm. I kept asking him to stop driving and let us hide somewhere and he wouldnt do it, so I jumped out the passenger side and ran across this big parking lot to hide under some big thing, which I can't remember. The storm hits, and mass destruction ensues, yet I make it through intact and whole, and Rob is nowhere to be found. I get up and find some friends of mine that made it through, down the road a bit, and am strangely unaffected by Rob's absence or the storm itsself. Gee, ladies and germs, care to relate that to real life for me? A two year old could do it.

The last three days have been pretty fucking cool. I have enjoyed more of the company that I once felt guilty for basking in, yet I have since come to terms with a few really important things in my life. I have not been happy. I will do something about it. Period. The future is becoming a bright, shiny highway where once it seemed like the lower level of a parking deck. Thanks to myself for figuring some things out early on. And I think a certain person for halping me to see some of the most important things that I was missing, for whatever that means tomorrow...