Resurrected

I have been thinking about reviving my blogger account, due to several friends saying they had one and wanted to avoid creating a MySpace account. So, I guess I might write on here occasionally. This week has been interesting to say the least. I called into work tonight in order to plan a lesson which I have to teach my class tomorrow, and I find myself online fucking around as per usual. Sometimes I wonder why I deliberately create challenges for myself, which amount to putting things off, cramming for events which I could have gotten help with, and stressing all the small things. I really think I work better under pressure, and I sometimes think I function much more efficiently when I do things to sabotage my plans in some small ways.
Example: I know i have to make money this week because I owe my old car insurance company a couple hundred dollars (which they are totally ripping me off of, those commie bastards) and I know I need to get up early to tutor the middle schoolers we have been assigned to work with. However, I got my shift covered, only to be fucking around online, and might cancel my sessions tomorrow so I can work on my lesson some more...only putting off the amount of hours I need to tutor. FACT: I ALWAYS get my shit done, and almost always it is an A in the class or on the project. I still manage to wait til the last minute for everything, knowing I can easily do it all earlier, but feel like I am more on top of things when I am in a rush and forcing myself into action. Why am I this way? Who the hell knows. Maybe it is a lack of Serotonin that makes me deliberately get my rush from waiting til the last minute to do anything. I was always too bored with everything but the abstract or ambiguous, the unattainable or the hard-to-reach.
It is just so much more interesting when you have to play catch-up...more of a challenge.
Enough self-depreciating bullshit, because the world needs people like me, and yet it needs people that are extra-driven, non-analytic, and focused too. There is something and someplace for everyone I guess.