Way to Go Down

This isn't about how to give the best oral, it is the path I feel myself falling towards...not even kicking and screaming, but quietly and shamefully. Every morning I am woken up by my husband, EARLY, who proceeds to inform me of how he still doesn't trust me. There is "something" in his gut that has a hard time getting past my dishonesty to him about being in contact with another person in my life...
Our problems existed WAY before another person entered my life, and therefore he is not the focus here, or rather I don't think he should be. Rob's complete lack of trust in me (whether he admits it or not) makes me feel like I am under the most intense scrutiny. What is crazy, is that he has NEVER even been this remotely interested in anything I was doing...and I got really used to doing whatever the hell I wanted, WHENever the hell I wanted to do it, with no side effects or problems with him.
I may not be perfectly up front ALL the time, but try 99% of the time, and his behavior makes me want to just move out right now, to avoid all the discomfort of being at home. I HATE this situation, and it is so tempting to take the easy way out, ie to get mad at not being trusted, and bolt right now. However, I do not think that is the right way to deal with this....and it leaves room for assumptions and misunderstandings...and there are enough of those...
He is so hurt, it breaks my heart...
I am hurt too, for everything that I thought my life was going to be with him, when we were happy. I don't look foreward to the day when everyone close to me will judge and hate me, for what I think in the end, is the right thing for all...
It is only a matter of time, I guess.